Rematch

Once upon a time there was a story called failure.  I sure hope the sequel is better...

Here we go again.  This time I'm considerably more prepared, although my April schedule has been wonky and I haven't got a lot of quality riding in over the last few weeks.  Still, training up until this month has been good and I'm feeling positive about where I'm at. 

For those who want to follow the race, Guitar Ted will be posting audio updates on his blog.  Don't count on hearing my name since I'll be hanging in my normal spot at the back of the pack, but at least it's updates.  If you want to know whether or not I'm still rolling, check my Twitter feed.  I doubt you'll see much from me during the race but I'll post when I'm done, DNF or otherwise.

Trans Iowa V8 Audio updates
Twitter (@10ftmidget)

Have a good weekend, folks.  Think of me every so often and realize that if I'm lucky...

 I'm still out there.

Exclusive! My Secret Cross-Training Methods Exposed!!!

Even among the crazy world of gravel grinders, Trans Iowa stands alone as the pinnacle of manliness.  Such a race requires training far beyond the norm, so five days ago I hitched a ride down to the Gulf of Mexico on the back of a flatbed hauling the next batch of champion fighting chickens, fashioned a raft out of no less than 12 live sea turtles and one slightly annoyed marlin and set sail for the Yucatan Peninsula.  What follows is a look inside my never before seen by man, super secret cross training program.  What you are about to see is so powerful, I guarantee you will grow at least three new chest hairs by the time you are done reading.

Are you ready?

Prepare to have your eye holes rocked!

Laying waste to the entire shoreline with a power flex shockwave.  Those waves are moving back out to sea, fleeing from my awesome might.

Destroying the clouds with mind bullets.  I keep my electrolyte levels high by filtering ocean water through my leg hairs. 

I'm not reading, I'm absorbing the essence of a thousand mighty redwoods.

During training, I subsist on a strict diet of fermented ox blood and local water.  I find the ox blood to be rich in minerals and raw, visceral power.  I drink the water because I like to break a gastrointestinal sweat too.

  Every training plan should include a recovery session.  Here, I relax in a hammock hand kitted for me by the mermaid I seduced with my superfresh dance moves.

Two-Ten

Got up Sunday morning at 12:30 in the AM, picked up Charles at 1:30 and arrived at Courtney's house in West Des Moines at around a quarter to four.  The three of us rolled out shortly after 4am for the Missouri border.  Details?  You betcha...

• Trip stats:
• 210 miles in the bank, 120ish being gravel.
• 18 hours and 30 minutes to get the job done.
• My best guess:  four to five miles of hike-a-bike and a couple dead ends.  
• I believe our final B road count was 11.  I lost track though.
• 7400ft of climbing through 192 miles, but sure felt like more.  That's on pace with Trans Iowa though.  I didn't get the last bit because my Garmin died, but it was fairly flat.
• How I held up:
• Pretty zen for the first 80 miles or so.  Didn't even mind the B road hiking.  Then I bonked a little.  Then I recovered.  Then I bonked big time.  I couldn't eat or drink much of anything the next 110 miles without wanting to throw it back up.  The lone exception was the frozen beef and bean burrito I tossed in my frame bag for a later treat.  That thing was mighty tasty when I finally got to it.
• Physically I held up pretty well.  Legs felt fine until the end and my body was doing well.  Contact points were getting sore, but were still manageable.  My pace dropped a little after my first minor bonk, but not significantly.  I dropped off a bit after the big one, but picked it back up and did well enough the rest of the way that I'm not too worried about Trans Iowa, barring nasty conditions of course.
• I got really cranky on the return trip.  I blame the bonk because I'd like people to think I'm not a grumpy asshole, but I should still try to not be like that at Trans Iowa.  Otherwise no one will want to ride with me.
•  Random nuggets from the trip:
• It was kind of the drunken, shirtless rednecks to take a moment away from incoherently yelling at each other while trying to free their mud-stranded jeep at 5 in the morning to remind us that we're "bicycle faggots".  Charles was nice enough to exchange pleasantries, mostly commenting on how much fun they must be having.  Courtney waxed something fancy about having a vehicle that could be carried out of a mud pit.  More concerned with the fact that they were drunk, greatly outnumbered us and still had a vehicle free, I kept my mouth shut and went to unholster my dickhead repellant.  Thankfully, shorter attention spans prevailed and I didn't have to ruin a perfectly good frame pump.
• Derby, IA is a depressing town.  Main street is a post office buried in a row of abandoned and decaying brick buildings.
• After trudging through the sixth or seventh B road, Courtney turned to his Garmin to try to reroute any other hike-a-bike sections.  Unfortunately, the Garmin was even more sadistic with its reroutes, leading Courtney to claim that it was stuck in Guitar Ted mode.  It was known as the Guitarmin the rest of the trip.
• Gummy worms and candy orange slices aren't good endurance food.  
• We found out that people will drive a long way for cheap cigarettes.  The lady working at the gas station in Missouri told us that she's had people drop $1000 in one trip on tobacco.  Ironically, those are the same people that think it's crazy to spend $1000 on a bicycle.  I can see their point though.  Bicycles don't burn all that well.
• Charles has gone from being destroyed by a metric in mid-October to doing sprints at the end of a double because he wasn't feeling worked over enough.  I have to face the fact that I'll never be able to put the hurt on him again.  That makes me a sad panda.  By the way, he took third in a gravel race the day before. 
• Regardless of how tired or lousy you feel when crawling out of bed, watching the sun rise through the mist on a quiet country road is worth the early start.  Always.

Where I'm At

With Trans Iowa 5 weeks away I thought I'd spend a little time on a training recap.  While I've only been riding twice a week for most of the year to date, the quality of the rides have been good and I'm feeling considerably stronger and more prepared than I was at this time last year.  Leg cramps, which I was still dealing with a year ago, are well under control and physically I feel less beat after my hard efforts than I did back then. I'm actually feeling pretty confident about my chances of finishing TI this year.  Anyway, in more detail...  Here's what I've been doing and how I'll finish off my TI preparation.

• I've been spending one night a week with Charles riding a section of hills south of town that we call the Rollers.  It's a gravel loop a little over 8 miles long with about half of that being short, steep rolling hills.  The other half has a couple longer hills, but is otherwise relatively flat.  Total climbing per lap is about 600ft, with the biggest hill being 120ft of elevation gain.  It doesn't sound like much, but these hills are steep!  We hit the roller section hard, with me generally taking the early lead due to a wheel eating bridge at the bottom of the first descent that I tend to bomb my way across while Charles takes it slower.  I can usually crest the first climb ahead of him but he always catches me on the second.  From that point on he'll either wait up for me and alternate attacks, or he'll go off on a flyer.  In either case, I redline it.  This is arguably the most important training we do and I've been seeing much improvement because of it.  We both ride out to it and meet along the way, so we get some extra bonus miles.  2-4 laps a night is typical, spanning 2-4 hours.  We'll be doing this up through Trans Iowa.
• Every weekend, Charles and I hook up again for a long ride that is typically between 5 and 9 hours.  Last weekend we did our first gravel hundy of the year and we'll be doing 100+ mile rides through the second weekend of April, with April 1st being a double century with Courtney Hilton.  To date I have 5 gravel metrics, one gravel century, one snow metric (fixed gear) and one snow century.  I also have a 90 mile road ride under my belt.  Last year by this time I only had one snow metric and two (almost 3) gravel metrics.  
• The last month or so I've been lifting 1-2 days a week at work, focusing on the upper body and core.  This is good for 45-90 minutes a week.  This is part injury prevention, part upper body endurance and mostly vanity.
• I've also been spending 1-2 lunch hours a week on the new ellipticals we have at work.  Idea being, working some of those non-cycling muscles ought to help with cramping and injury.  My calves are seeing the biggest benefit here, but it also seems to be helping my B road slogging.  30-90 minutes a week.
• The last couple weeks, and continuing through TI, I'll be spending 2-3 days a week doing whatever I want.  This is my anti-burnout workout.  Last week I did a night focused on B road hike-a-bike.  I slung my fully loaded bike across my back and hiked it 2.5 miles down a local stretch of muddy B.  Tomorrow I'll be doing a noon ride with some co-workers.  I don't focus on anything other than enjoying myself on these rides.
• I've been stretching a few times a week for the last few weeks.  Again, this is mostly for injury prevention but I'm also hoping it helps with my bike positioning.

For you numbers geeks out there, here's the stats from the last 6 roller rides (variance due to where we meet on the way).  The last couple weeks have been huge for me in terms of improvement, but some of that could be due to the unusually warm weather we've been having.  Still, it's an encouraging sign.

• 2/16/12
• 23.5 miles (1 lap)
• 1:53 ride time
• 12.5MPH average
• 1,342 ft climbing
•  2/22/12
• 31.4 miles (2 laps)
• 2:29 ride rime
• 12.6MPH average
• 1923 ft climbing
• 3/1/12
• 42.4 miles (3 laps)
• 3:32 ride time
• 12.0MPH average
• 2742 ft climbing
• 3/7/12
• 31.7 miles (2 laps)
• 2:34 ride time
• 12.3MPH average
• 1922 ft climbing
• 3/14/12
• 50.9 miles (4 laps)
• 3:53 ride time
• 13.1MPH average
• 3046 ft climbing
• 3/21/12
• 42.4 miles (3 laps)
• 3:09 ride time
• 13.5MPH average
• 2438 ft climbing

Escape

Take a little time for yourself.

Let your mind float on the breeze.

Think about nothing.

Think about everything.

Live in the moment and leave all else behind.

You won't be disappointed.

Power

Sometimes I end conversations simply by saying "Terry Crews."  There is no rebuttal.

Failed Hundy

The instant Charles hit the gravel, the strong cross winds blew him across the glazed surface and off the side of the road.  Less than a mile into our planned gravel century and we'd already had our first crash.  This wasn't going to be our day.  After slipping and sliding over the next half mile, we decided it'd be wise to switch this over to the pavement.

So north we went, up Springville Road.  Plans were modified to head up to County Home Road where we would turn into the wind for the next 12 miles, then wind our way up to Quasqueton and back.  It may not have been the best route, but I don't ride pavement much and I ride that particular area even less so I wanted to stick with what I knew.  Once we turned into the wind, I tucked in behind Charles.  My legs were still shot from the nearly four hours of hills we attacked two nights before, so I was perfectly ok with sandbagging it.  I offered to pull exactly once.  It was more for posterity than anything.

Around an hour or so later, we decided to take a short food break as we came up to the Cedar Valley Nature Trail.  We took shelter from the wind in the viaduct, had a few bites, and changed our plans yet again.  Instead of heading north on Center Point Road, we'd take the trail south through town to escape the wind for a while.  Finally we were able to carry some decent speed.  We followed the trail another 20 miles to Ely, hitting the bike shop along the way, and stopped for an honest bar food lunch.

After lunch, it was back up the trail to retrace our route home.  Even though County Home was busier than we liked, it was also the best road for taking advantage of the wind and boy howdy, we'd earned that tailwind.  When we finally made the turn east on it, I settled into a nice rhythm and let the wind do the work for me.  Charles, needing to get it out of his system, shot off and took full advantage of it.  I caught up to him a few miles later as he was coming back towards me.  We hung together the rest of the way, turning south across the wind before we really wanted to.  I estimated we'd pull back into town at around 90 miles, but I didn't feel the need to round it out to a full century.  I made the comment that in terms of effort, we'd done 100.  Including stops and all the slow going in the wind on worn down legs, we'd been out for over 8 hours and it was starting to get dark.  That turned out to be good enough for us.

So...  No gravel hundy.  No hundy on the pavement either.  Oh well.  One of the Slender Fungus guys told once told me the body recognizes hours, not miles.  Good wisdom, that is.  Can't get too caught up in arbitrary numbers, after all.